b l o g
Rains are here!
After 2 amazingly sunny and crisp fall days, the rains have arrived.
Portland, Oregon
Here I am, back in Portland. I’ve been home for about 2 weeks now and the magic of being here has already started to fade. I feel like I’m in prison, or rather have been sent to a place I no longer belong.
I’m planning my escape. Not sure of the details, but just that it involves getting rid of most of my belongings, which truth be told, feel more like hinderances than comforts these days.
F U E R T E V E N T U R A, Canary Islands
July 30 - Aug 6
Frank and I needed a real vacation together. Seven glorious days of sleeping in, loafing in the sun, and doing, well, almost nothing.
We got a great deal on a last minute booking for a child-free resort in Corralejo, Fuerteventura, an arid and windy desert island in the mid Atlantic. We drank Nescafe with retirees and enjoyed the quietude of no screaming babies or horse playing teens for a full 7 days of heaven.
It was truly a peek into retired life, and oh man, it was amazing. We went on an adults only catamaran booze cruise to Lanzarote, and went snorkeling and JETSKIING! I swam in the cool cobalt waters off the boat and felt a peace with all things.
We’re now spoiled for holiday locales, and will here on out require Adults Only lodging. If only we could also take an Adults Only plane ride and stay in an Adults Only town. No offense parents of small humans, but your spawn, mostly the screaming ones, ruin everything.
G A L W A Y
July 14, 2016
Frank and I headed out to Galway for a weekend away. We stayed in Salthill, just outside of city center. We had a lovely and relaxing weekend away, catching nautical Pokemon and enjoying each other’s company. Frank’s been out of town for work in Paris and London for the bast couple weeks, and I opted to stay in Dublin for some time to myself.
We loved Galway! Saw the Cliffs of Moher, and went to the Arran Islands, which was the best thing ever. I could totally live there, where I imagine I’d paint the rugged landscapes and write some serious poetry… the cats would roam the lands and become little salty babies.
On this trip I was once again reminded of how terrible Spanish teens are. In Dublin, they lurch around the streets in hoards, barely moving and blocking the whole lane. On this trip, I booked us a day tour to the Cliff and Arran Islands, where half the bus was packed with unsupervised teens who talked incessantly and were beyond rude all the live long day. We made the best of it though, scurrying away from the hoard as often as we could!
Dublin :: Roastedbrown, or My favorite place to hang out in the ‘hood.
This is what happens when you stop being a weirdo, depressed hermit and leave the flat to work. An artist walked over to me while I sipped some coffee and sheepishly handed me this sketch of me working. I LOVE IT SO MUCH
Sylvie Shows Up!
26 June 2016
Saw a ton of cool Neolithic sites outside of Dublin with my little cousin Sylvie who surprised me with her presence! We saw The Hill of Tara, Monasterboice, Trim Castle, and the Loughcrew Megalithic Cairns. It was super interesting, though the weather was shit all day. It was fun to bond with the lil cousin and Frank and see tons of cool ancient stuff. More later!
Traveling is sorta hard.
June 22ish, 2016
Traveling is sorta hard.
I’ve long romanticized travel as this amazing thing only the privileged get to do. As I’ve been bopping around the world with Frank for the past month, I totally realize how lucky of a human I am right now. Yeah, I may have some nasty student loans, occasional crushing depression, anxiety about the stuff I’ve left behind in Portland, not the most amazing job security, but hey, I’ve got to see stuff in the past month that I never imagined I’d get to see or do.
That all said, I miss my bed, my cats, and my routine. Why do I gotta be such a creature of habit? All I can think is that this shit takes practice, and a lot of patience, which I’m pretty short on... embarrassingly short on. So I guess I’l be working on that.
We got back into Dublin on Monday AM after a 7 hour over night layover in Istanbul that was less than ideal, and the crabby, impatient, zombie version of my reared her head a couple times. I need at least 6 hours of sleep in a lay-flat position to be a functional human. I don’t know how there are those of us (Frank) who can appear a normal human being with no sleep and no comfort. I guess these things take time. And I’m grateful to have a partner ho hasn’t left me in a terminal as I act a monster. If I could just smoke a little weed at the airport I’d be totally fine...
Things I hate about traveling mostly have to do with the getting to and leaving from aspects, ie. the airport in general. I hate being asked personal questions by a stranger. Fuck, open my bags and look through everything, pat me down, swab me, but really my relationship is none of anyone’s business but my own. And why I’m in a place, as long as I’m bomb-free, shouldn’t concern you. I hate, hate, hate, boarders. They make me feel like I’m in prison. I just wish we could all move about the world as we please with no risks of imminent danger. But that’s not the global community we have quite yet. I’ve been getting hassled more and more each time I re-enter Ireland, and it is extremely anxiety provoking for me, so much so that I don’t feel like even leaving again till I head back to the states, which is going to be a horrible nightmare at that boarder crossing, too, I’m sure! When we left Israel we were questioned 5 times. We were leaving, had had both our bags ransacked, and still we were probed more. Frank has a trip to London coming up and I’ve decided to stay home in Dublin partially because I can’t bear the boarder again. It sends me into a darkness that I hate, and I know it chips away at Frank, too, to witness my Ms Hyde come out to play. So anyway. Glad I have a video call with my therapist this week!
I shouldn’t complain, I should go with the flow, look at the bright side, all that. And I’ll continue to do my best with this amazing privilege that’s been bestowed upon me. I don’t know where I’ll be visiting next, but we may actually be going back to Tel Aviv in July. I think I want to go to Spain or someplace else on the Mediterranean Sea. It makes me so happy to be near the sea. Hopefully I can take a deep breath and chill the fuck out about the nerves I get on the boarders of the world.
Chilling in Tel Aviv
June 15, 2016
Got my work done and now swimming and relaxing. Few complaints from me today.
Irish Beauty
One of the most fun things in Dublin is observing the beauty rituals of the locals. I had my brows shaped and my lashes PERMED. Yes, permed, like a perm you get on you head, but on your EYELASHES to make them curled. Yeah, you can do this stuff in the states, but it’s super fun to get beauty treatments done by locals to get a little flavor of the neighborhood.
On Being a Nomad
I’ve long romanticized the idea of going out and traveling in far places here and there, going nowhere in particular and having no real schedule, just existing, working my remote job, and seeing the world.
So far, I’ve been to Oslo, Paris, Dusseldorf, Cologne, London, and Tel Aviv. I’ve discovered this about myself: I have a really hard time picking up and go go going, and I’d rather stay in one place for a while, or travel by bus or train within one region for a spell. They way airport security and passport control is right now makes country hopping a highly anxiety provoking experience for me. I really don’t like being around machine guns and being detained by twerpish airport security men. I’ve come to see that I’m not even much of a short tripper either. I’m not so into the 2-3 day trip. It feels hectic and unsettled to me, with little time to get a real feel for place or culture.
This is all not to say that I’m not enjoying myself on other levels, because I am. Growth and going outside your comfort realms is fucking intense, especially when you’re 33 going on 70. Maybe I’d be better accustomed to changes and being uncomfortable if I’d lead a different life, traveled more as a 20 something, or didn’t constantly feel panic about money. Maybe I’d be more relaxed if I hadn’t accrued a mountain of student loans in my late 20s in grad school. Maybe if the economy hadn’t fallen apart in the spring of my adulthood in Portland I’d not fear the unknown like I do. Maybe 100 things.
With all that, I’m figuring myself out, not in like, an eat/pray/love sort of way exactly, but maybe kinda? I guess I should go to Tuscany now and bask in the sun or something. That actually sounds amazing.
L O N D O N
We swung by London for a few days (Frank has a work thing). This is my first time here, and while the British Museum of Stolen Artifacts is amazing, I prefer the Louvre. The crowds at the BM are oppressive. If they have climate control in the museum, it’s kept to a humid heat that I can’t image is good for any old thing.
My fave part of London is the amazingly delicious and cheap Korean food. I could live on it for the rest of my days without complaint.
All and all, while I enjoyed London, I’m not in love with the city by any means.
G E R M A N Y
June 2, 2016
I’m going to Germany next week! We’ll be in Düsseldorf for a couple days, then Cologne. I’m excited for the various beers of the area, river walks, museums, and cool old architecture. Oh, also sausages. Obviously. I’m very thankful for my remote job that I can do anywhere, any time, and still make a good living, and for Frank’s jet-setting work schedule. It’s pretty cool. Not gonna lie, Europe makes me want to smoke cigarettes. It’s basically exactly like the Nick Kroll spoof on Europeans here everyplace we go.
Some of my fave things: Tiny glasses of delicious beer and cheese shaped like mice.
Dublin Weather… :(
May 23, 2016
The weather in this nook of the world is so crazy. It’s midwestern weather x100000. It’ll be warm and sunny for 20 min, then it’ll downpour for 30 min, then it’ll be hot and breezy, then you’ll need a winter coat, then the streets will be flooded.
We’re off to Oslo tomorrow! I got a note from our AirBnB host over the weekend letting me know that her family needed to use the apt that we reserved, and so she’s putting us up in a quite swanky pad in a cool ‘hood that she usually rents for more than double what we booked for, and she’s giving it to us for no extra fee... SO excited about the new, cuter and nicer location! Here’s the listing.
You can buy a 24 hour pass that gets you into every museum in Oslo for about $40, so Frank and I will be making a day of it this coming Saturday.
In other news, I just realized that there’s a BOG BODIES exhibit at the Archaeology Museum here in Dublin (all museums are free here...) ... So I’ll be doing that this week.
OK byeeee.
O S L O — Here we come
May 16, 2016
I’m enjoying myself and getting accustomed to this normal existence in Dublin for a little while. Paris was great this time around (I think this was my 3rd time...). I finally went to the Louvre, which while my typically curmudgeonly attitude will turn her nose up at touristy things, it’s nice to remember that that shit is pretty awesome to see! I could have spent a lot more time Louvre-ing, but alas it closed early on Sunday and I didn’t get to see as much of the ancient stuff as I’d have liked to. Next time I’ll be bee-lining to the Egyptian and Islamic artifacts and mostly skipping the galleries of paintings.
Next week we’ll be going to Oslo, since Frank has some biz there, I’m going to tag along. I can’t wait to see some really old Viking stuff and eat a bunch of weird smoked fish. We’re staying in a swanky Oslo hotel for the first part of the trip, then relocating to a cute and tiny AirBnB. Hotels are insanely expensive in Oslo, and oh, they’re currently having a hotel strike!? So thanks NR for the first few days!
More on Oslo::
The National Gallery here is so great. It’s small and free! Two of my favorite things when it comes to National Galleries. The Viking Ship Museum was amazing. The Opera House is unlike any building I’ve ever seen. The food and drink is $$$$$.
This is how I feel about my flight tomorrow morning at 7 something. Excited to be back in Dublin though!!
Drake is that you?
Amazing murals. Oslo!!!!
Cray Chandelier
Meow mew mew
THIS IS IT!
Paris
May 13, 2016
I’ve literally never been so jet lagged. Never again will I suffer a 12 hour layover. I refuse! Or, if I do have to do two red eyes in a row again, this queen is going to have some serious sleeping pills or other fun Rx drugs.
I’ve been in Paris for a few days, sadly mostly working. I’m glad it’s Friday, because I’m gonna get my walk on, see some gardens, art, culture, and eat all the cheese and bread I can. I’m having a relaxing wonderful time. Photos to come! Frank and I were talking and snuggling last night and he helped me remember that I am here. We aren’t 5000 miles apart anymore. It’s strange how it takes a while to let that sensation settle in and feel normal. We’ve spent the majority of our relationship away from each other, and I’m glad I have him to remind me to be in the now. Live in the now man.
I love love love the louvre. I want to live here and get lost in the ancient stuff section— sleep in a sarcophagus and skulk around at night scaring myself with ghost stories and tales of ancient intrigue. Paris is a truly magical place. This visit has been my fave so far and I’m sure I’ll be back again.
Some delicious shellfish!
Frank and I discovered EURO VISION. We’re going to go to it next year in Ukraine. That’s how much we loved it.
Room service!
Still haven’t been on a ride… What’s wrong with me?
We are angles. And we’re in louvre!
Francois’ Fave Tea.
Tiny Napoleon’s Huge Apts.
We like each other!
Frank louvre’s getting his pic taken!
Louvre!
More Louvre. Nip Slips!
Arrival in Dublin
May 10, 2016
This is the view from Frank’s cute apartment. The weather’s in the 60s usually, both day/night. Seagulls squawk from the rooftops, and horny pigeons coo outside the window all morning long.
Oh yeah, and there’s always some great local flavor happening on Grafton St, which is around the corner from our apt here in Dublin. Like this guy, jamming down with some O Danny Boy!
C A L M
May 6, 2016
At the beginning of April, I started thinking about starting my journey, packing up my house for my delightful subletter, and getting things in order to the tune of getting rid of heaps of shit I no longer need or use, cleaning, and organizing my frightfully disorganized existence. That was when I started to think about, "Hey girl, you should take your passport out of your backpack from that fun trip to Canada last month. Oh hey, let's set it on the bookshelf under that stuff there. I won't forget it's there. No way." Come nearly Mid-April, the passport was nowhere to be found. With absolute panic, I Ubered to the county building and rushed in every way possible an application for new papers... which I was assured would be in my hands no later than April 29th -- I was told not to freak out till May 1. And freak out I did April 27th when I got an email that my application was on hold due to a form they needed in hardcopy (although I had submitted it online... this was the DS-64, a form stating how you lost your passport. I had simply put, "I'm stressed out and somehow I misplaced it. I have no idea how.") Since it's 1974 at the Passport office, I needed to resubmit this form in blood, hand delivered by Pony Express...Thence, the panic really was building. I wasn't sleeping, I was pounding coffee, eating excessively to soothe, and hittin' that bong like nothing. I was on the phone daily with various passport customer service people who ranged from sassy dick-head, "Mitch" who called me "ma'am" about 40 times, to Charles who soothed my like only Morgan Freeman could, Pam the robot who could only say "your application is processing," to finally Meagan, who I told I loved and who gave me the tracking number for my overnighted delivery. I'm finally feeling like this is real, and I'm letting myself feel excited rather than beating myself up for being so careless. Here I come Dublin, Paris, Amsterdam, Oslo, Tel Aviv, Petra, Prague, and who knows where else with my sweet person who through all the distance, the longing, the fears, I'm still so enamored with and truly joyful I get the honor of living with for a spell.
A L W A Y S & F O R E V E R
May 1st, 2016
As I prepare to leave PDX, the place I’ve been calling my own special prison for the last several months, I’m moved by some pretty important noticing.
Portland is likely the best place to live in the US. As I think about how much of a struggle it’ll be to get my groceries delivered, the spicy chai @GoodCoffeePDX, pre-mourn the bike riding joy the summer months bring, my sweet baby cats, and the good friends I’ll miss — I’m not gonna lie. I’m sad to leave.
The past few months have been hugely stressful. Dealing with my hugest tax bill of all time, a job that no longer made me feel valued, cat health issues, crushing depression & anxiety, and a mysteriously lost passport, I’m seriously looking forward to snuggling down with Frank and trying not to get too fat on potatoes with a side of potatoes.
I hope to really do some living this summer. I feel like my life has been on pause in a bogus sort of way for too long and it’s time to get it going in the direction I’ve been working toward for the past two years.